10 Ridiculous Expectations of “Real Men” That Men Find Completely Offensive

Our ever-changing society frequently goes through ebbs and flows, sometimes even pigeonholing certain people into defined roles. During a recent online discussion, men gave open and honest opinions on specific societal norms they felt unfairly held to in today’s society.

From feeling they are locked into specific gender roles to wishing prevailing assumptions about them would stop, these men held nothing back in their authentic assessments.

1. Men Should Never Show Weakness

Out of all the societal norms that men are tired of being held to, the notion that they should never show weakness tops the list. Countless men lament that they can never cry or generally show emotion for fear of having their manhood questioned.

Yet, having feelings – and being secure enough to show them – is a sign of a healthy human being, not something inherently anti-masculine. Although society is slowly coming around to eradicating this societal norm, it still is prevalent in 2023.

2. Men Should Be the Provider

Some people seem stuck in the gender roles of the 1950s when men worked in the office or factory during the day, and the woman stayed at home with the kids. In 2023, this belief must change. “My wife is my partner, not somebody with a defined gender role,” says one husband.

While not every relationship has to be a 50/50 split, taking advantage of each person’s strengths and compromising when needed is a recipe for marital success in today’s world.

3. Men Should Pack the Car

As someone who has a losing record in the never-ending battle between myself, suitcases, and the trunk of a car, this societal norm for men hits home in a big way. I don’t know who started it or when, but someone at some point decided that all men have the uncanny capability to pack a car perfectly.

On behalf of myself and the men who discussed this topic, I would like to say that this is not true. As it turns out, my girlfriend is a thousand times better at this job than I am, and I appreciate that!

4. Masculinity Being Discussed Negatively

Wherever you look online, you’ll invariably encounter the phrase “toxic masculinity.” More than one man has gone on the record by saying that the term has become a catch-all phrase for masculinity in general, which will lead to unfavorable views of them by the general population.

No matter where you look, masculinity is defined as something inherently negative. Therefore, many argue that it is time for the positive aspects of masculinity to be celebrated – or at least recognized – in a public forum.

5. Men Should Be Promiscuous

One norm that needs to go away immediately is the notion that single men must constantly engage in sexual encounters.

Many men argue this societal norm is not valid. “The idea that men who sleep around are more ‘alpha’ than fathers who procreate and produce offspring is a ridiculous modern idea around masculinity,” argues one. Simply put, being promiscuous has nothing to do with a person’s masculinity, and society should realize that!

6. Men Shouldn’t Change Diapers

This forum discussion was littered with personal anecdotes of (mostly) mothers-in-law acting surprised when a father changes their child’s diaper. Tired of being treated like they have no parenting skills, countless men confess they would love it if their mothers-in-law would accept them as equal partners in their parenting world. “We’re much better parents than people give us credit for,” says one father.

7. All Confident Men Are “Bros.”

Somewhere along the way, society has decided that confidence indicates narcissism and aggressiveness – or at the very least, an acute interest in cryptocurrency. Sadly, many men reveal they often become pigeonholed by men and women if they show even a tiny bit of confidence. As one person says, “I’m confident, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to high-five you and talk about investment strategies the first chance I get.”

8. Men Have Uphill Battles Over Custody

According to many men, judges presiding over custody battles seemingly default to taking the woman’s side, leaving many men feeling they aren’t being fairly treated in a court of law. One person describes his court struggles during recent divorce proceedings. “The courts seem to have no sense that men are to do anything more for children than work for their support.”

9. Men Should Be Teased For Having Male Close Friends

Citing numerous examples in movies to try to explain how this has been deemed “normal,” many men decry that they often receive jokes about their sexuality if they dare have close friends who are also men.

They point out that it’s possible to have friends regardless of sexual orientation, and being subject to jokes – although frequently good-natured – needs to be changed in today’s society. The discourse surrounding this tendency is one societal norm that Hollywood is partially to blame for, as it reminds me of the 2009 comedy I Love You, Man.

10. Gay Men Are Less Masculine

Speaking of homosexuality, countless gay men constantly fight back against the societal norm that they are somehow less masculine than their heterosexual counterparts.

These men argue that although they are attracted to the same sex, their biological and physiological makeup is inherently equal. Frankly, gay men are tired of the assumptions (and frequent labeling) that they are not as masculine as a traditional straight male.

This thread inspired this post.